Reflection on the past

Spring, Clouds and Memories

As years go by

I seem to love spring

more and more

(One reason could be

it signals the approach of school's end:

light at the end of a 9 month tunnel of heavy scheduling)

Yet it's more than that

It is a link to God's world and provision of such beauty for me

I love having light at the end of the day

Even light at the beginning of the day

(no longer have to wear my reflector jacket in the dark morning)

The smell of blossoms as I walk the neighborhoods

Color poking up from the ground

Grass magically showing up green

Rainbow in the clouds

That reminds me of a difficult and precious season in my life:

The first season I started paying attention to the clouds

I was a single mom with six young children. My car was a drab beige clunker --but paid for!---with a driver's door that flew open when I turned right....unless I remembered to secure it with a piece of rope. It was the best I had.

I was tightly focused: if I could just finish my university classes. Then I could search for a full time job, trading in my 3 little part time jobs.

Money was spread thin. I operated from the envelope method. If the category envelopes in my purse were empty, I was done spending.

I discovered cloud's rich bounty. As I traveled across town to a cleaning job or to class, I would notice the sky and pray out my concerns to Heavenly Father.

Help me know what to do. Hold my fear. Bless these precious children of mine. Cushion them from the buffeting of this season. Help me to focus, to concentrate, to keep my face toward Thy light. Help me have the energy to make it through this day. Help me to step beyond fear.....to walk in faith.

I began to notice the variety and splendor of the clouds each day. Such color. Such texture. Unending art in the sky----from God. Just for me, in that moment. I chose the clouds as a symbol for God's gifts to me. Every day I glanced to the sky, curious what I would see.

There was no shortage in His Bounty. No empty envelopes in the richness of His creation.

There were moments of assurance that He knew me. He was aware of my dilemnas. He helped me take tiny steps forward. Tiny steps into the dark of my unknown. My tears would flow as I chatted with Him.

Thank you, Heavenly Father. You have made such a beautiful sky. I can make it this day.

Thank you . . . . Thank you